Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely
by Moon Kitty
Summary: This is a Miyaken(Ken+Miyako) fic that I wrote for IZZY GIRL's contest.


Author's Note: This is a Miyaken, Kenako, or whatever it is you want to call a Ken+Miyako(Yolei) fanfic. This is for IZZY GIRL's contest. I was originally going to post a different story for the contest, but changed my mind and decided to make it this one since it's much better (though much shorter). This takes place a little while after the Chosen Children find out that Ken is the Digimon Kaizer. Anyway, please review and tell me what you think! This is my first Digimon fic, I usually write other stuff. If people like this I might write more Miyaken and Kekari(Ken+Hikari). Oh, and by the way, I don't own Digimon (duh!), nor do I own the song "Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely" by the Backstreet Boys (if I owned either I'd be pretty damn rich! ^_~). So enough of my blabbing and on with the story! Enjoy minna-san!

**Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely**

**By: Moon Kitty**

So many words for the broken heart

It's hard to see in a crimson love

So hard to breathe

I sit on my back balcony, crying. Crying because Ken, the first guy I ever had a crush on, is the Digimon Kaizer. Crying because it's the final fight tomorrow, and that we – or really, **they** (I don't want any part in it) – might have to destroy him. I really hope it doesn't have to come to that. I wish there was some way to get him to change. Maybe if he did, we could be together… No Miyako! Don't be a fool! I could never be with him. He will never change his evil ways. And even if he did, he would never have any interest in me. Not when he can have any other girl. Prettier girls. I'm not pretty like them, or cool like them. I don't think there's a single guy in the world who would even consider going out with me. It saddens me to think that I will always be lonely.

Walk with me, and maybe

Nights of light so soon become

Wild and free I could feel the sun

This is the first time I've ever stayed in the Digital World alone after dark. Normally I'd have Wormmon or one of the many Digimon I have control over with me. But not tonight. Tonight I, Ichijouji Ken the Digimon Kaizer, want to be alone. Well, not really. Truthfully, I do not wish to be alone for the first time in my life. I want someone to be here with me. That someone is Inoue Miyako. Yes, one of the Chosen Children, my enemies. But from the first time I saw her, I found her beautiful. She's not like other girls who fuss over makeup, clothes, and their hair. I can't stand girls like that. They're the ones who always annoy me asking if I would go out with them. Mindless bimbos! But Miyako… She's not like that. I guess that's what I find attractive about her. She's true to herself and doesn't try to be anything else. How I wish she could be here with me right now. So she could fill this emptiness in my heart.

I look up at the dark sky as I walk through the sparse forest. The night sky in the Digital World is very different from the one we see in the real world. Yet it's just as beautiful. Beautiful like Miyako… well, not quite. Miyako must be the most beautiful thing in this world or any other.

If someone could read my thoughts right now, they probably wouldn't believe what they were hearing. Everyone probably thinks that since I'm evil, I don't have feelings and don't appreciate beauty. Normally this would be true, but not since I saw Miyako. She is the only one who can light the darkness within me.

Your every wish will be done

They tell me…

I wish I could just talk to him. Try and make him change. I remember right after we got back from the Digital World the day we found out who the Digimon Kaizer was. I had suggested to the others that we talk to Ken in the real world and try and get him to change. But they said it'd never work. They told me to try and get over my feelings for him. But I can't. I think I love him. Or at least I think it's love. This emotion I feel is way to strong to be just a simple crush.

Show me the meaning of being lonely

Is this the feeling I need to walk with

I sigh deeply. "Miyako…" I whisper, my breath turning to mist with the cold night air. The cold doesn't help the loneliness much. Actually, I haven't even noticed it was this cold until now. My mind was too busy thinking about what to do with my feelings for Miyako to notice.

Tell me why I can't be there where you are

There's something missing in my heart

"Ken…" I say as I stare at the starry sky. I can't help this feeling. I need him, want him. But it can never be. Not as long as we fight on different sides. Him on the side of evil, and me on the side of good. Still, it's not fair! Why must I be tortured with these feelings? It must mean **something**! I need to talk to him. But how…?

Life goes on as it never ends

Eyes of stone observe the trends

Why is it that the one person I have to fall in love with is the enemy? I almost hate attacking the Chosen Children whenever they come to destroy my Control Spires, for the only reason is that Miyako might get hurt. I had always planned on sparing her when I defeat them, but she will never love me. I'm evil and her enemy, so she most likely hates me more than anything else. Maybe if I changed…? Would she love me then? But am I willing to forget my evil ways for her? In all honesty, the answer is…

They never say forever gaze

Guilty roads to an endless love

There's no control

I can't take this anymore! I have to talk to him! Tell him how I feel. And maybe, just maybe I can at least talk him into changing. It's worth a try.

I get up off the chair I was sitting on and open the balcony door to go inside. I walk to my room and turn on my computer. Unknown to the others, I had figured out a way to transport to the Digital World from any other computer instead of just the one at school. Actually, I haven't even tested it yet, I'm not sure if it'll work or not. But I guess now is a good a time as any to try it out. Though I'm pretty sure it'll work. I mean, if Ken was able to do it (obviously because he doesn't use the one at our school), then so can I! I'm probably just as much of a computer genius as him. I wonder how well I would've done if I had entered that computer program contest…? But that's not important now. I hope this works… And I hope he's there. I have a feeling that he is.

I set the program I created on my computer, hold up my Digivice, and feel myself get sucked into the computer and into the Digital World.

Are you with me now

Your every wish will be done

They tell me

Yes. I am willing to give it all up for her. But only if she feels the same way, which I doubt, so why worry about it? Because this feeling is so strong that I'm illusioned by it and almost believe she might have feelings to me as well. But that's impossible, right?

I continue walking when I see a dark figure in the distance. Is somebody here? Who would be foolish enough to come here at night alone? Or at least they look alone; I don't see anybody else with them. Who is that? It's not! It can't be! I'm dreaming!

Show me the meaning of being lonely

Is this the feeling I need to walk with

Tell me why I can't be there where you are

There's something missing in my heart

I found him. Ken, the Digimon Kaizer. It was easier than I had thought it would be to find him. I didn't think he'd be here at this time of night. Still, I can't believe I am doing this. If he decides to attack me, I'm finished. I left Hawkmon at home asleep. So there's no one to protect me. But he's alone too. Though I'm sure he can easily call up any of his controlled Digimon whenever he needs it.

I keep walking forward. Might as well, it's too late to turn back anyway, he's seen me. I soon get a better view of him. He's wearing his usual Kaizer outfit, but without the glasses (I'd imagine it'd be pretty hard to see wearing those in the dark). I stop walking as my heart skips a beat. He looks very handsome. I then take a deep breath. "Ken," I say to him. He stops advancing as well. He looks shocked to see me here, not that I blame him.

There's nowhere to run

I have no place to go

Surrender my heart, body and soul

I stop dead in my tracks. "Miyako," I say after I hear her say my name. I feel my heart beating like a drum, I feel so nervous around her. Part of me just wants to run away, while the other part wants me to run up to her and hold on to her. "Wh-what are you doing here?" I ask a bit too unsurely. This has to be a dream. But then again, even in my dreams I never get her, she still hates me.

"I wanted to talk to you, Ken." I hear her reply. Even if she does hate, I love it when she says my name. Just the way she says it is beautiful. But why would she want to talk to me? Unless… No! Don't tell me she found out about how I feel for her and is now saying it can never be! I don't know if I can stand it if she breaks my heart. I still don't understand how I could have fallen so deeply in love with her. She is the enemy! I shouldn't have feelings for her! But I do, and there's nothing I can do about it.

"About what?" I finally ask. She walks up to me. She seems slightly nervous. Why, I have no clue. Maybe she's scared of me? I don't want her to be scared of me. "You have nothing to fear of me, Miyako," I tell her reassuringly, and take her hand in my own without even thinking. I think I see her blush. Could it be? Is it even possible? I have to take a chance. It's now or never. "I never want to hurt you… Miya-chan."

How can it be you're asking me to feel

The things you never show

I feel myself blush when he takes my hand in his own. Just his touch alone makes me feel lightheaded. He tells me he'll never hurt me, that he doesn't **want** to hurt me. And then he calls me 'Miya-chan'. He says it in such a way, that I now know for sure that he too has feelings for me. But who thought that a person like him would be capable of love?

I'm about to rejoice in happiness, but then realize that we can never be together as long as we are enemies. I'm about to tell him this, but it seems almost as if he can read my thoughts because he silences me by placing his finger on my lips.

You are missing in my heart

Tell me why I can't be there where you are

I don't know why I'm doing these things. My body seems to be acting on its own. Not that I any longer have any problem with that. Just seeing the look on Miyako's face when I called her 'Miya-chan' was enough to tell me how she feels. And what I had said before is true: I would give up everything I have here in the Digital World to be with her. But would she believe me? She seems a bit disappointed, probably because she has realized there is no way for us to be together unless one of us changes sides. And it's very unlikely she would join my side. I wouldn't want her to anyway. I don't want to see a pure heart like hers get corrupted by evil. "I think by now you have figured out how I feel for you, because I now know you feel the same for me," I say to her. She looks up at me with sadness in her eyes.

"You know we cannot be together Ken. As much as I wish for it to be," she tells me. I shake my head.

"There is a way, and you know it."

"But…" she starts, but I again silence her, only this time instead of putting my finger over her lips, and cover them with my own. She seems surprised by the kiss, but does not resist.

Show me the meaning of being lonely

Is this the feeling I need to walk with

Tell me why I can't be there where you are

There's something missing in my heart

I am taken by complete and total surprise when he kisses me. I feel myself melt into his arms as we hold on to each other tightly, as if we are afraid that if we let go the other will disappear. We brake away from the kiss, and stare into each other's eyes. He has beautiful blue eyes, the most beautiful I've ever seen.

"Miya-chan," he says. "I am completely willing to give this all up for you." I am shocked at what he tells me.

"You mean you would give up being evil, so that we can be together?" I ask to make sure I heard right. He nods 'yes', and smiles at me. Not grin, or smirk, but a real loving smile. I smile back and him, and excitedly hug him in happiness. He hugs me back, wrapping me in his cape to shelter me from the cold. Maybe now we can finally put an end to our loneliness.

So what did you think? Liked it? Loved it? Hated it? Oh, and I apologize for any mistakes (I tried to stay as true to the Japanese version as possible) and for any OOC. Ja ne minna-san! *waves* And please review!


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